


Vulnerability Isn't a Weakness

by kailaris_rites_223



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because dammit Zuko deserves all the hugs, Friends comforting each other, Friendship, Group Hugs, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Talking About His Scar, Talking About Trauma, Zuko (Avatar) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Zuko deserves all the love dammit, Zuko letting himself be vulnerable, friends supporting each other, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25718890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kailaris_rites_223/pseuds/kailaris_rites_223
Summary: Despite everything they had been through, there's one thing Zuko hadn't told the rest of the Gaang about: how he got his scar. Well, all that changes one afternoon in the Fire Lord's garden, surrounded by his friends that he would give his life for without question.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 635





	Vulnerability Isn't a Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> With the resurgence of Atla popularity and the overwhelming rise in fellow Zukka shippers, I got the overwhelming urge to write one where the Gaang actually learned about the origins of his famous scar, with a little Zukka sprinkled in. As a treat.

When the topic had been brought up, it hadn’t been on purpose. Zuko hated talking about the prominent burn scar on his face, let alone _how_ he got it. Zuko was lucky enough that the rest of their ragtag group didn’t question it that first night at the Air Temple. Now, as they lounged in the gardens at the Fire Lord’s palace, by the pond that Zuko and his mother had fed the turtleducks, it seemed as though it was time for reminiscing.

“So you’re telling me that you have a scar on your thumb from _two_ fishhooks? Damn, and they say you’re the smart one, Sokka.” Laughter arose from the group at Sokka’s indignant noise of objection. And before he knew what he was doing, Zuko’s mouth moved on its own accord.

“At least yours was an accident.” He had said this with a laugh, but he felt his cheeks begin to burn as the group suddenly got quiet. Looking around, Zuko learned that all of them were looking at him, each expression a variance of concern.

“...What do you mean?” Came Katara’s voice, laced heavily with concern. “I thought it was a training accident.”

“I thought it had been caused by trying to do a bending move that was more advanced than you thought,” Aang’s voice piped up as he moved from Katara’s lap into a proper sitting position. Zuko realized too late that now he’d have to tell the story, and while he knew his Father was in jail with no bending, making him unable to hurt Zuko anymore, his heart started to race as his chest grew tight.

“Zuko…” It was Sokka’s voice this time, gentle and serious in a way Zuko had only heard from before the war had ended. “What...happened?”

Pursing his lips, Zuko took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, albeit it wasn’t really necessary for his left eye, considering it had been mostly blinded when it had been burned. He kept his hands on his knees, trying his best not to grip them too tight as to give away how unsettled he was. He _hated_ talking about it, but he was the one who opened the can of beetleworms, and now he had to lie in it.

“It was in an Agni Kai. I don’t know if you know the basics of it, but it’s a firebending challenge usually in response to being dishonored in some way. It usually ends when someone gets burned.” He opened his eyes, and saw Katara subconsciously place a hand against her chest in the exact spot where Zuko’s scar was from his Agni Kai with Azula. He gave her a soft smile, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Like I said, usually.”

“You’ve had that scar for as long as I’ve known you,” stated Suki with a look on concentration on her face. “And that was when you had that shitty ponytail of yours.” Small bits of laughter rose up from most of the group while Zuko groaned.

“Wait, what do you mean _ponytail_?” Came Toph’s voice filled with a teasing delight.

“It was pretty bad,” Katara started with a soft smile. “Almost all of his head was shaved except this tiny patch of hair that sprouted a ponytail. It looked _ridiculous_.”

“Why _was_ your hair like that, anyway?” Came Sokka’s inquisitive tone. “I mean, I shave parts of my head because it’s the style of a warrior’s haircut. Is that what was going on with yours?”

The ease that had started to come back to Zuko’s body left in an instant. While glad Sokka wasn’t poking fun at the hairstyle, Zuko had hoped they could avoid the story of the scar by diverting the conversation towards his hair.

“It was because-” Zuko licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry and his throat tight. He moved his hands into his lap, using the sleeves of his robes to cover the fact that he was gripping his arm like a lifeline, nails digging into the skin at his forearm. “In the Fire Nation, cutting your hair is frowned upon unless you’ve been dishonored in some way. I got the scar just before I was banished, so it served the purpose of showing my dishonor while also not making the singed hairs look so bad in comparison.” He took a shaky breath, looking at all the concerned expressions on the faces of his friends. He mentally reminded himself that he was safe here and that it was okay to be vulnerable. That they wouldn’t pit his vulnerability against him.

“I was 13. My Father was having an important meeting in the War Room with his Generals, and I wanted to sit in. I felt as though I needed to start learning things as soon as possible if I were to be the next Fire Lord.” Zuko’s throat became tighter, but with a single cough, he continued speaking.

“My Uncle had warned me about the War Generals being very traditional. I had intended to keep my mouth shut and only observe but-” he cut himself off as his chest got tighter and tighter, now visibly shaking where he sat. Sokka, who was the closest to him, reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, and Zuko hated how he flinched at the contact. Zuko turned his head and watched as Sokka’s expression turned from stunned to hurt, which just made Zuko feel shittier.

“Zuko, what’s wrong?” Aang’s concern was gentle, but it still felt like a blow to his chest. He knew if he stopped to take a break, he’d never finish telling them what happened. And after everything they had all been through together, they deserved to know. Ignoring Aang’s question, Zuko just continued talking.

“I would’ve kept quiet but one of the generals spoke up about a plan to send new troops to the front lines against the Earth Kingdom as live bait while other forces attacked on the other fronts. I- I couldn’t let them entertain this plan. They were new recruits who were eager to serve their nation, and they were being led to the slaughter by their own _generals_. I should have kept my mouth shut, I wish I _had_ kept my mouth shut. I had interrupted him, telling him how it wasn’t fair. I- I was just thirteen.” Zuko’s voice wavered at the last statement, and to his horror felt a familiar stinging in his eyes as tears started to form. He looked down at his lap, unable to look at his friends while he cried. But he continued telling them what happened.

“My Father got upset. I had been disrespectful speaking out, and I was challenging the honor of the General by speaking out of turn. I was challenged to an Agni Kai against this elderly General, and I accepted. I didn’t know- I didn’t know what would _happen_.”

“Zuko,” came Sokka’s voice, gentle and closer than it was a few minutes ago. Zuko jerked his head up minutely to see that Sokka had leaned in towards him, and watched him gently place his hand on Zuko’s knee. “You don’t have to continue. I promise we won’t bring it up again.” Zuko shook his head.

“N-No. I- I need to get this off my chest.” He moved his right hand from his lap, squeezing Sokka’s hand gently. In regular circumstances, Zuko’s cheeks would be flushed a bright red at the outlandish gesture of holding Sokka’s hand, but that didn’t matter right now. “The day of the Agni Kai came. I didn’t- I thought I’d be facing the General, since it was his battle plan I had objected. I didn’t know- I didn’t think- I didn’t think I’d be going against my _Father_.”

He faintly heard some hissed intakes it breath as it most likely dawned on the rest of his friends what happened, but Zuko needed to finish this. Just this one time, and he’d never have to tell it again.

“I- I begged his forgiveness. I didn’t- I didn’t know I had disrespected him. _I didn’t mean to_. I- He wanted me to get to my feet and fight him. I- I refused. I begged on my knees for his forgiveness. I had just had the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart. I- I remember the exact words he said to me as I begged for mercy before him with tears streaming down my face.” Zuko knew his voice was cracking and that he was crying openly now, but it didn’t matter anymore.

“ _‘You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.’_ I remember his hand alit with flame coming towards my face, and I closed my eyes just before I felt the pain. I- I remembered screaming- it hurt so _much_ , I just wanted it to _stop_ _stop stop_ \- and then I blacked out from the pain. When I woke up in the infirmary- my Uncle was there by my bedside. I- I couldn’t see out of my left eye except shadows, and I was told then of my banishment.” He looked towards Aang, deep regret in his voice as he added, “and that the only way to regain my honor was to capture the Avatar. To capture _you_.”

A tense silence hung in the air around them, Zuko still openly crying. The only thing Zuko could hear louder than the pounding of his heart in his chest was the ragged sobs coming from his chest.

“Zuko…” Katara started, her mind probably thinking back to the Earth Kingdom Catacombs where she had almost used her spirit water from the Northern Oasis to heal his scar.

A reassuring squeeze at his right hand startled him for a moment, and he suddenly remembered that he was still holding onto Sokka’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him afloat. He moved his gaze from his hand to Sokka’s face, and saw a mixture of emotions flash across them. Zuko recognized the anger that flitted there, as well as the pained one, but there was another that Zuko had never seen before pass over Sokka’s face.

Next thing Zuko knew, a ton of arms were wrapping around him as tears started to form on the faces of his friends who were all saying various apologies to him.

“If I had known that was why you were chasing me-”

“I’m so sorry I thought that you ever grew up with everything being handed to you-”

“You’re tough as rocks, Sparky-”

But the one that stood out the most to Zuko was Sokka’s barely-there words whispered against the back of Zuko’s neck as he pressed his forehead into Zuko’s shoulder: “we should have killed him when we had the chance.”

For some reason, it was that one statement that caused Zuko to collapse. The knowledge that his friends would’ve _killed_ for him solely _because_ his Father had hurt _him_ , _Zuko_ , was just too much. Closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against the heads of hair holding him tightly, he finally let himself cry over the one thing he swore he’d never let himself cry over.

* * *

Later on in the evening, after they had all eaten supper and gone to their chambers for the night, Zuko sat in front of his mirror, staring at his face. Ever since Zuko had been banished, he tended to avoid reflective surfaces if he could help it. While he had made his peace with what had happened, knowing that he was in no way the one at fault for what happened during that Agni Kai, he still hated seeing the scar. It was a reminder that his own Father hated him, and while Zuko knew his Father was a horrible man, it still caused his chest to ache. He gingerly brought his hand up to his face, his fingertips brushing along the edges of the scar as he stared in the mirror. The scar was a show of inner strength and perseverance, that Zuko had grown into a good person, despite everything his Father did in order to see him fail. He started to wonder if people thought that he would look better without the scar. He certainly thought he would.

It was at this moment he heard a knock at the entry to his chambers. He turned in his chair to look over his shoulder and felt his breath hitch slightly as he saw Sokka leaning against the entryway, his arms crossed over his chest.

With a raised eyebrow, Sokka asked, “you mind if I come in?”

Zuko quickly moved his hand to his lap and swallowed before answering. “No, not at all. Uh- let me just-” He quickly undid the topknot and set the Fire Lord emblem onto the dresser before making his way over to the bed. He sat down on the edge before looking at Sokka. “You can sit down, if you want.”

Brushing a long strand of hair from his face, Zuko watched as Sokka nodded and pushed himself off the wall before making his way to the opposite side of the bed and sitting down.

“I know you’re probably wondering what I’m doing here so late. It’s just-” Zuko watched with a trained gaze as Sokka looked at his lap, where he was fidgeting with his hands. “What happened—earlier today...I know that couldn’t have been easy on you. I just- I wanted to see how you were holding up. You barely spoke at dinner.”

Zuko’s heart was beating far too fast in his chest for his liking. When Zuko had first developed this crush on Sokka, he had ignored it, thinking it would just go away. Just a passing fancy. At least, that’s what Zuko thought. But it’s been almost a year, and Zuko still feels like squirrelmoths are trying to crawl out of his stomach up through his throat and out his mouth. Zuko doesn’t want to admit that it might be more than a crush, as it took him a while just to come to terms with the fact that he liked Sokka the way he did.

“I’m- I’m okay.” Even to his own ears, it didn’t sound very reassuring. “I promise. It just- drained a lot out of me. I’ve never actually...told anyone what happened that day.”

Zuko watched Sokka’s expression turn from this concerned one to an expression of pain and sorrow, although Zuko wasn’t quite sure why. It was then that he noticed Sokka had started to reach towards his face but had stopped midway. Feeling braver than he had ever been, Zuko reached out to gently hold Sokka’s wrist in his grasp.

“You can touch it, if you want.” Zuko closed his eyes as he brought Sokka’s hand to the scarred side of his face, unable to see whatever emotions would flit across Sokka’s face. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw disgust in Sokka’s expression.

The touches were soft, softer than even Zuko thought Sokka could be. Although he couldn’t feel much on that side of his face, he could feel the dulled sensation of fingertips gently tracing on his skin. He was still holding Sokka’s wrist in a loose grip, if it could even be called that. His fingers were now wrapped around Sokka’s forearm, keeping him close enough for Zuko to smell that distinct smell Sokka has had since they were teenagers trying to end a hundred-year war. It smelled fresh, like the way the grass smells after it has rained. There was also a bit of a muskier smell laced in there, like fresh dirt and snow. Zuko couldn’t exactly place the smell, but even now it helped soothe him in a way he had previously only associated with his Mom and his Uncle. He jumped slightly as he felt a calloused hand cup the unscarred side of his face, and Zuko’s eyes flew open to see that Sokka had moved closer, now only a few centimeters between their faces. Zuko couldn’t describe the expression that was on Sokka’s face. It looked so...soft and caring. Warm in a way Zuko had rarely known throughout his life. He felt his cheeks heat up from the proximity of the other man, his breath hitching as he realized they had been breathing each other’s air. Zuko sat very still, not knowing what to do as he felt Sokka’s calloused thumb brush along his unscarred cheek, almost as if he was caressing it.

“Zuko…” Zuko’s heart started to race as he saw Sokka’s eyes glance down at his lips for a split second before glancing back up into Zuko’s eyes. Zuko was positive Sokka could feel his heart racing under his touch, but it seemed like Sokka didn’t care to notice. His focus was solely on Zuko’s face.

“Zuko...you’re beautiful.”

Zuko couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped from his chest from those words, his pulse racing and his stomach heating up. He swallows against the dryness of his throat, and let his eyes drift down to Sokka’s lips for a moment before bringing them back to the gorgeous blue eyes of Sokka’s.

“Zuko,” Sokka started, darting his tongue out to wet his lips for a moment before swallowing. “I...I want to do something. Just- stop me if you don’t want me to.”

Zuko’s heart was pounding as he gave a minuscule nod, his breath caught in his chest. He slowly watched as Sokka leaned in to press a tentative kiss to Zuko’s lips, to which he then let his eyes flutter close, high on the feeling of Sokka’s lips on his. As he started to return the kiss, he felt Sokka’s hands cup his face more firmly as the kiss drew longer and more passionate. His kisses with Mai had always been slow, back when he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. Unrushed as if they had all the time in the world. This kiss with Sokka was different though.

It was as though they couldn’t get enough of each other as they got closer to each other. Zuko’s hands finally moved from Sokka’s arms to his hair, when he pulled out the band holding the wolf’s tail up, burying his fingers in the fine strands that framed Sokka’s face. As the kiss started to deepen, Sokka pulled Zuko towards him, and Zuko eagerly followed, resulting in the two of them toppling onto the large bed still kissing, not wanting their lips to part unless for short intakes of air. As Zuko situated himself in the v of Sokka’s legs, chests pressed together as they each took panting breaths, Zuko felt Sokka’s fingers thread through Zuko’s hair before cupping the scarred side of his face once more. He looked at Sokka again, this time blown away by the overt display of fondness across it.

“I always loved your hair down,” Sokka stated in a breathy tone. “It makes you seem more...human. Less like the Noble Fire Lord and more like the awkward firebender who tells bad tea jokes.” Zuko rolled his eyes as he saw Sokka’a smile, but couldn’t stop one from spreading across his own face. “It also frames your face perfectly, even as long as it is. It reminds me of my Zuko.”

At the words _‘my Zuko’_ , Zuko couldn’t help but lean in for another heated kiss, now cupping Sokka’s face in his hands. Although he had every detailed of Sokka’s face etched into his mind and heart, he still couldn’t help himself as he caressed the sharp cheekbones of his, followed by slowly gliding his palm across the strong jawline the Water Tribe Warrior had.

They kissed like that for a while. Zuko couldn’t tell you precisely how much time had passed as they kissed each other with hands giving loving caresses as they took it all in. It could have been hours, it could have been minutes. Zuko didn’t know and didn’t care as he now held a snoring Sokka in his arms, Zuko’s head resting on Sokka’s chest. As he listened to Sokka’s steady heartbeat, with a strong warm arm slung across his shoulders, Zuko let himself slip into a peaceful sleep with the knowledge that the man he loved thought he was beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading this, I greatly appreciate it. I wanted to give Zuko the love and affection he so greatly deserves, as well as being able to talk about the pain that is Trash Lord's Parenting without judgment and only being met with love. I love getting comments. Thank you all so much!


End file.
